Jäktigt

 Igen studier?

Javisst! Hur annars börjar man livet på nytt?  Skit! Hur svårt kan det vara att utveckla muskler? Vet du det? Nej, ingen kan gå i dina mockasiner, ta hand om dig själv. 

Sitter vid dator hela tiden och skriver uppgift efter uppgift fast jag vet att de unga och glada lärare som jobbar på distans eller stationärt ska inte alls ha medkänsla till mig, gammal tant, ensam, men ändå vacker och begåvad. Dags att vara misantropisk. Sluta bli så naiv!!!Någon gång ställde Konrad en fråga till mig om jag skulle kunna bete mig på samma sätt som de gör. Alltså, när du är i Rom, gör som de Romare. Vita krokar lever ensam. Jag funderar.

https://youtu.be/MTpMaZyA_eo?si=Hmqv3KLH_mzYwPE6

https://youtu.be/un9jfFVNx4s?si=Z8ajWYTGjbIWK-HK

Ett annat liv. 2024. 08.18 lördag.

 Nu struntar jag i engelska och börjar skriva och tala svenska eller ryska. Medvetet. 

Min kompis Nishadi övertalade mig att börja blogga omkring min odling. Jag har mycket att göra där just nu men jag ska försöka att berätta vad jag gör och ska göra med mina växter och marken jag odlar på. Hur använder jag joddning och vattning. Vilken behandling behöver alla växter och enstaka sorter. Jag ska försöka att filma och fota mina blommor och allt som växer på min del av odling, även ta intervjuer med mina grannar vid odlingslott. 

Ett annat liv. Milenkij ty moj

https://youtu.be/8bcjn28Wg38?si=8qwKu1cmqmmCMTwQ

How it all started once in a while

We started to talk one day at the end of January on Internet site Club10.com. My female friend made me register my profile there. She was also very convincing in her intentions and started the process by inviting a fotografer to my apartment. The fotografer was her daughter's female-friend. Anyway, the pictures she took of me and my dog were very beautiful, enchanting. I felt a bit ashamed about exponering of myself in front of the camera. First time in my life I introduced myself that way. Very strange feeling even today when I have already been in Sweden for more then 10 years. I was trying to think positively about my advertising myself. I made a friend very soon. It's not important to introduce him. essential is just my way to arrange the things around my arrival to him, in the middle of Sweden from the middle of Belarus. 

It started in the autumn. My life has hit the bottom. I wrote in this way when I was in a special course for Bible stadies at the protestand kurch in Minsk with the American messioneers who came for teaching us English. My mother died in 2007 and I went to the church for having social experience and not getting crazy sitting at home and thinking about everything that is happening around and in my life. It was a hard knock on me. Really deep depressed, without maitanance, out of jobb with my son as a student at the Academy of fine Art I made myself go further with my routine or it's better to put it: go further with my hard steps forward without the loveliest one in my life. (continuation follows)

Igloo

There is one more thing that I want to write today, that impressed me greatly: Igloo-fest in Belarus. My son is used to organize people for something extraordinary. He is as social as his Mom. He takes our dog Alaska everywhere with him. I miss them both. 

War and Peace

 The book by Leo Tolstoy is actually the evidence of the russian aggression and principal traits of the russian behavior. What have we at the moment? The war with the Ukraine shows the same unchangeable state of the matter. Russians are under the influence of the witchcraft of the propaganda and everyone of them (about 70%) state that they support the idea to safe russians from the Ukranian Bandera while this name comes from the time when people were fighting against Stalin hunger policy in their country. The whole Ukranian culture was demolished, not only the agriculture and people's lives were destroyed. It's not surprising that people will errect the monument to those heroes who were trying to honour their history. The same way the Belarussian history and language was treated. As far as I know the Belarussian language made unpopular among the students by those minority of the teachers who were engaged in teaching the russian language. I myself experienced that when teachers started the conflicts on the language priority basis. I was one who was tramped on by the teacher of the russian language. I myself was studying both lanuages and litteratures together with English and Polish and I know much about the repressions against the Belarussian writers and poets, but what had happened to me was the real life and real problems every day. 

I was born in the time of Thaw, when Nikita Chrushtchov took over the regim and the life became easier, just slightly easier. I didn't know that Stalin took the territories of Poland where my mother's family lived. This is really horrible when your brothers and sisters were studying Polish at school and you suddenly swiched to russian. My mother never talked Polish though she could understand her brothers and sisters. How quickly it has happened within one persons life and we, further generations talk Russian already. I do remember even that I was trying to deny studying the Belarussian language when my father was about to go to Siria for work at the bridge construction. He blamed me at the end of his life in what he supposed to achieve and didn't instead of blaming the communist regime and the time of stagnancy. But this is the nature of the people: they are trying to find somebody who is more near and more weak to blame for what had happened with them. Now it is my time to be dissolved in the infinity and I made my mistakes. I do not want to blame those who blame me for whatever had happened to them. I just live my life though the circle of the friendly people around me is not so wide as I would like to be. One thing I know that Jesus Christ was also alone and lonely. He was trying to teach and I am trying to find the way to teach, suggest new ways and methods. 

The war is in the way everywhere. It came even in my life in this peaceful part of the world. Now it is me who understand how lucky I was to escape the degradation of my society, destruction and elimination. I am still alive because I was one of the chosen to start a new life in the peaceful land. And my son is with me soon.

Feel satisfied with my studies. I have fixed two courses in Swedish as the second language methods of teaching and, hopefully, to read and write in the middleschool methods of teaching. Well done, Natallia! Bravo! Now I should catch up with English writing proficiency course and History of the language simultaneously - Linguistics and forward with English again but this time will be Academic writing and Litterature. Marathon!

Den 28de december 2021

 Jag bryr mig inte om någon läser. Nej, det gör inget. Låt de läsa och skriva kommentarer. De trampade på mitt liv som elefanter, så låt de veta om det. 

Jag börjar skriva den sanna livshistoria. Den 28de december 2021

Det finns mycket att se, bara öppna dina ögon. Det finns mycket att höra, bara lyssna. Det finns mycket att komma ihåg, bara du får skriva ibland vad som berör dina känslor och tankar. 

Han kommer från Belarus. Ja, det gör han. Det var klart från hans berättelse. Från Oschmiany. Men konstigt nog att hans röst känns bekant. Hans barn lämnade han i Belarus sen 2015. Bara sådär, lämnade en dag. För att undvika betala till banditer som pressade pengar från honom. Jag minns att min föredetta man åkte efter bilar till Tyskland för att sälja till privata personer och efter att beskattning höjdes, det blev slut på hans privata inkomster. Vilket år var det? 2010? Han dog då. Javisst. Jag tror att militiamen hade också pressat pengar på hans inkomst. Om han skulle registrera sig som företagare hur skulle det vara då? 

Men den här mannen, Andrej, han är 43 år gammal. Han åkte då till Litauen och hamnade till något ställe med narkomaner. Det skulle jag verkligen veta tydligare om detta här. Hans pass blev stulen där. Han åkte från Litauen till Latvia och där köpte han ett falskt pass från företaget som inte existerar längre. Han åkte då med sin bil till olika länder och i Malmö hamnade han till polisen för att han hade något problem förmodligen med transportering av narkotika. Det skulle jag fråga honom om. Det blir inte så roligt om det är ju så. Han åkte till intervju i november till Migrationsverket. Det är bra att han säger att han berättade sanningen.