How it all started once in a while

We started to talk one day at the end of January on Internet site Club10.com. My female friend made me register my profile there. She was also very convincing in her intentions and started the process by inviting a fotografer to my apartment. The fotografer was her daughter's female-friend. Anyway, the pictures she took of me and my dog were very beautiful, enchanting. I felt a bit ashamed about exponering of myself in front of the camera. First time in my life I introduced myself that way. Very strange feeling even today when I have already been in Sweden for more then 10 years. I was trying to think positively about my advertising myself. I made a friend very soon. It's not important to introduce him. essential is just my way to arrange the things around my arrival to him, in the middle of Sweden from the middle of Belarus. 

It started in the autumn. My life has hit the bottom. I wrote in this way when I was in a special course for Bible stadies at the protestand kurch in Minsk with the American messioneers who came for teaching us English. My mother died in 2007 and I went to the church for having social experience and not getting crazy sitting at home and thinking about everything that is happening around and in my life. It was a hard knock on me. Really deep depressed, without maitanance, out of jobb with my son as a student at the Academy of fine Art I made myself go further with my routine or it's better to put it: go further with my hard steps forward without the loveliest one in my life. (continuation follows)

There is one more thing that I want to write today, that impressed me greatelly: Yglu-fest in Belarus.

War and Peace

 The book by Leo Tolstoy is actually the evidence of the russian aggression and principal traits of the russian behavior. What have we at the moment? The war with the Ukrain shows the same unchangeable state of the matter. Russians are under the influence of the witchcraft of the propaganda and everyone of them (about 70%) state that they support the idea to safe russians from the Ukranian Bandera while this name comes from the time when people were fighting against Stalin hunger policy in their country. The whole Ukranian culture was demolished, not only the agriculture and people's lives were destroyed. It's not surprising that people will errect the monument to those heroes who were trying to honour their history. The same way the Belarussian history and language was treated. As far as I know the Belarussian language made unpopular among the students by those minority of the teachers who were engaged in teaching the russian language. I myself experienced that when teachers started the conflicts on the language priority basis. I was one who was tramped on by the teacher of the russian language. I myself was studying both lanuages and litteratures together with English and Polish and I know much about the repressions against the Belarussian writers and poets, but what had happened to me was the real life and real problems every day. 

I was born in the time of Thaw, when Nikita Chrushtchov took over the regim and the life became easier, just slightly easier. I didn't know that Stalin took the territories of Poland where my mother's family lived. This is really horrible when your brothers and sisters were studying Polish at school and you suddenly swiched to russian. My mother never talked Polish though she could understand her brothers and sisters. How quickly it has happened within one persons life and we, further generations talk Russian already. I do remember even that I was trying to deny studying the Belarussian language when my father was about to go to Siria for work at the bridge construction. He blamed me at the end of his life in what he supposed to achieve and didn't instead of blaming the communist regime and the time of stagnancy. But this is the nature of the people: they are trying to find somebody who is more near and more weak to blame for what had happened with them. Now it is my time to be dissolved in the infinity and I made my mistakes. I do not want to blame those who blame me for whatever had happened to them. I just live my life though the circle of the friendly people around me is not so wide as I would like to be. One thing I know that Jesus Christ was also alone and lonely. He was trying to teach and I am trying to find the way to teach, suggest new ways and methods. 

The war is in the way everywhere. It came even in my life in this peaceful part of the world. Now it is me who understand how lucky I was to escape the degradation of my society, destruction and elimination. I am still alive because I was one of the chosen to start a new life in the peaceful land. And my son is with me soon.