As I see now, I should explain why I am still studying instead of working as it is suppose to be at the age of 50. Yes, I came to Sweden when I was 49. Too late, you may say. It's true. But I am a language teacher and although the Swedish language is not an easy knowledge for us, people who have another alphabet structure, I got the language comparatively fast. Just in 2,5 years I was able to talk fluently with some ruff mistakes and still the pronunciation leaves much to be desired. But people can understand my way of talking. Now, can you imagine that even if I'm talking fluently and coherent but still I have no rights to work as a teacher as I suppose to be after 13 years of experience in Belarus. It's all bureaucracy you may suggest. Yes, I was inclined to think so. Another mentality of students and approach to uppbringing and education leaves no chance for me but to strive for my teacher's profession. Certainly you may say as my ex that I should work as a cleaner for the sake of a family. Yes, I worked for some weeks or so. I worked as a personal assistent and an assistent for people who cannot do some daily routine by themselves. I worked as an interpreter and a translator. But what makes me really cheerful and optimistic in life is the only thought that I would soon be a teacher. Otherwise, I feel I have missed something very important at the middle of my life when I can bring some fruit for my and
surrounding people satisfaction. I was teling to myself: "You are a qualified teacher with lots of years experience, why shouldn't you dare work in the same position here in Sweden?" I am not so easy to be defeated. At the times of depression I've been thinking to return to Belarus, but it's out of discussion. If I am destined to return, just as a winner. Once I gain through my pain and then it will be easier to meet an inquiring look from both sides - Swedish and Belorussian. I have taken that challenge and jumped in the deep waters of unknown river. What should I say to people who knew me, who trustedme? Can I overcome? What will they think of me? At the times it seems to be not of great importance what people think or say, but for the sake of my son, who I hope will be proud of me, I shouldn't fail. I haven't said anything about my son, my friends, my colleagues in my last school and University. I am proud I have friends and such a son. He is a designer in Minsk and he is doing well. He plays guitar and sings his own composed things. I hope I can be a good example for him to follow even I'm not an angel. I went through the flame of love, pain of mobbing and mistrust, discovering my husband having another 'subject' to live with, who started from the very beginning to poison my life. He is a perfect psykologist, he knows what should be done to let a wife go away for ever. Sorry for my being not humorous here as you expected. It will come time for better mood and for humour. I am glad I am a student and that's all for today.
